Thursday, July 31, 2008

Quote: The heart can't think, so why follow your heart?

Veoh's not working in Malaysia anymore... It seems it stopped like 2 months ago but I only just found out because I was back in Singapore back then.... Now I can't watch the animes I want anymore!!!

The computer here back him is..... terribly lagging.... it definitely needs to be reformatted but I just don't have the required CD's and programs... So I'm gonna leave it as it is for now. The thing is, I wouldn't dare play a Dota game on this thing.. I'm afraid it'll just crash the moment the game starts... So there goes my nightly Dota games.

Manga's are coming out really slowly... and the slow connection here really does not encourage the starting of new manga's... The pages just takes too long to load.. So no manga during weekdays.

I can't seem to find a common topic to chat with people anymore... I find it hard to concentrate on a conversation because my mind will just wander off thinking of my problems.... I've tried to talk to some.. but I just can't seem to get the conversation to flow smoothly...

With totally nothing to do at all... I start thinking a lot... and it's not good when I start to think too much... Many things are clouding my mind and heart right now... relationships, studies, modules, FYP, finance along with a lot more other problems (mostly problems of friends.. but I do worry for them too...).

I can't help but feel emo during the nights.... sure, I can always go to bed early... but going to bed early only means I'll be thinking in the cold, dark and lonely room.. which I doubt will be any better than thinking at the computer.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


ahh.. barely had the time to online in the past 2 weeks. Had been so busy with UFO preparations and UFO itself. Stayed over at PGP for UFO nights. UFO was great, just like last year, the freshies were initially pretty "off" and it took quite a lot of effort from the seniors to actually light the fire (though there are some that are permanently "off").

I did not do much for this UFO though... I led my OG like a zombie leading.. My group Sei Ngan Zai was one of the quietest group and I can say it is all down to my fault. As a senior, I know I should have put all my troubles to 1 side and concentrate on keeping my group "on" but sadly.. I let them down.

Talking bout my OG, they may not be the noisiest and most "on" people.. but for some reason, we bonded quite well through-out the few days of UFO. I was really touched by their thank you messages that they gave me at the end of the BBQ. What really touched me was that they are thanking me despite me not fulfilling my duty as an OGL.

To Lee Yu, Kheng Siang, Wei Kean, Wen Qing, Carolyn, Jing Yi and Stephanie(though you joined us only after Sentosa), I would like to say I'm sorry for not being a good OGL and I truly thank you all for being such a great group.

I'm quite lazy to summarize the day-to-day happenings for UFO but pictures can be found in my facebook. Wen Qing has took a lot of pictures and tagged a lot of us on the way. All I can say is, taking away the fact that I was a bit under the weather I had a great time. Sad thing is... the number of freshie's msn I have is miserable.. lol


On to another topic... I've been thinking a lot lately on a very strong four letter word which starts with a capital L.

I've always had a weak heart.. I tend to fall for people easily. Sometimes, its even possible for me to like 2 person at 1 time. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure whether I'm actually falling for that person or am I just wanting to be close friends.

So now I'm really confused... What is Love? If my heart starts beating faster when I talk to you, does that mean I Love you? If I get upset if I see another guy getting close to you, does that mean I Love you? If I'm willing to spend hours of time just to catch a glimpse of you, does that mean I Love you?

When do I know that she's really the one? When do I know whether she's not worth my time or when I should give everything I got and not give up? A friend of mine said that... there's nothing wrong if you fall for people easily, but what if I'm going for some one and suddenly I fall for another person? or worst, when I'm already attached and I fall for somebody else? Wouldn't that be unfair to them? It makes me wonder... should I go after a girl if i start to have some feelings for her? or should I wait till I'm really sure? but if I wait, what if I wait too long and she's gone?

So many questions that has no definite answers to it....... I know... I think too much... but I can't help it... I envy people that just go for it without thinking.. some come out successfull, some end up regretfull.... but at least, they tried....

There's really a lot in my mind now... but I find it hard to actually type it out.... I just hope when I get back to Malaysia, everything will just fly by and I can start my busiest semester in NUS on a good note...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

ahh.. its been a long time.... just too lazy to update.....

My last post was about having trouble finding a place to stay, guess what? I managed to found a pretty nice place. It's at Clementi, 2200 per month. House is not very old and its pretty cosy. Engin is only 3 stops away. There's food, karaoke, mcd, kfc, pizza hut, banks, buses, mrt, and grocery stores. What more can you ask for? Great location lor. The only problem is.. the kitchen is filled with roaches. Been killing damn lot of them but they just come back every night.

Another thing I'm afraid of is sharing a room (currently sleeping in 1 room cause the rest of my housemates are not back yet). No, I'm not afraid my room mate will disturb me. More of the other way round. Everybody knows I always sleep very late, the doors are a bit squeaky so I'm scared that I'll wake him when I go to bed. I'm also scared that I snore... =(

Oh well, hope everything goes well.

The past 2 days have been filled with sports and dinner meetings. Swam at John's place yesterday. Unlike the first time that we swam there, this time I really did swim (of course the amount of swimming done is no where near last time when I was swimming regularly). Hands are damn tired, could barely lift up my hands when I was bathing. It's still aching now when I apply pressure.

Today played football, don't know why but was damn tiring. Legs are currently feeling like jelly.

Whole body aching, never thought pain would actually make me feel good =D.