Sometimes, i really feel that i deserve to be lonely. I look at my list of friends in MSN, there are a few hundreds of people whom I added/added me through out the years since I started using MSN. Out of those few hundreds, how many do I really talk to? Sad to say the number should be no more than 10. The bad thing is, most of them have tried to keep in touch with me! They do send me messages from time to time but because of the terrible schedule I have in NUS, their messages are always not replied.
I have this terrible phobia of starting a conversation with people if its a 1 on 1 conversation. I always have thoughts on what should I say? or what if I'm saying something boring? or what if I'm disturbing him/her? I tend to over complicate the conversation even BEFORE the conversation has started..... and I end up not being able to even start the conversation. Sounds stupid but its seriously happening to me.... Confidence problem perhaps...
I just want to say I'm sorry to those that feel I'm an arrogant ass. Please give me sometime, I'll try to get out of my comfort zone and start messaging people in my contact list!!
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Been feeling quite down lately.... I'm not sure what's the reason.. Fatigue? Humid weather? Really not sure... I only know my heart and mind is currently very clouded... Can't seem to think straight at times and I get agitated easily.... Please forgive me if I lose my temper.... but I'm just in one of those emo periods..... Hope the clouds in me will disperse soon....
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