Exams.....

Just finish my mid-terms today....Can't say i did badly but I definitely did not do well...When I was on the way back from my exam, I was thinking back on my schooling days. I used to do great in exams. Apart from my Malay and History, I had always did well in exams. I wasn't the best and some may still say my grades weren't good enough during my secondary school, but hell I'm still above average. After SPM, I went on to take South Australian Matriculation(SAM). Done a good job there too if you ask me. Though I was never the best in school, my results were always good enough to contest for best in class.

Studying wasn't the main reason for my above average results. In fact, I hated to study. I would take any chance to escape from studying back then. I still remember spending time in cyber-cafes days before spm. My results were still acceptable despite my constant slacking.

It took me sometime to recall, but it finally came to me... The reason for my results back then was my great confidence when I step in the exam hall(or class room when we were in school). I can say I had this confidence in taking exams in me since i scored perfect for both maths and english back in standard 1. Easy task for most of us, but it did build the confidence I take an exam.

To have confidence in an exam is very important, you start thinking faster, better, more accurately and smarter. I had that confidence.. allowing me to make the most out of the limited study time I had(limited by me XD). That very confidence got me the results that brought me to NUS... and now in NUS, that confidence has been totally crushed.

My 1st sem here was a disaster... Coming to NUS after SAM wasn't a good idea cause I learned lest in SAM when compared to A-levels and STPM. So it was harder to keep up. To add to that, I wasn't used to the "breeze through 1 module in 3 months" way of teaching. I was struggling to keep up and when exams came, the confidence that I had just ran away...I did BAD in my 1st sem.. very bad. After a nightmare 1st sem, I can't seem to score anymore... Sometimes, I come out of the exam hall feeling totally lost.. I keep asking myself.. "WHY, why here? why did I choose NUS?" I don't think I'll ever find an answer to that.

My CAP currently is very bad... don't ask me how much.. ITS BAD!!! Despite people telling me it'll get worst each passing sem, I still believe I have what it takes to pull it up and graduate with a decent CAP. Now all I need is to find that confidence again....