Emoness...

Ahh.. Engin lost to Science in semis for DotA...

We were undoubtly the favourites to win gold. Stormed through the group stages with 4 impressive wins out of 4 games. Sadly it all ended because of some major decisions that I made.

Few factors why we lost (warning! everything will be stated in DotA terms):

1) Drafting, I underestimate the strength of AP and gave it to opponents without thinking. I drafted a draft which was not really a bad draft, but frankly speaking it didn't fit to our team's play-style. I knew very well that we did not have an established Rhasta player but still went on to pick it without picking another stable carry along with my QOP.

2) Item builds. The draft definitely brought our chances of winning down but what I believe to be the most important factor was my item build. Going hex and orchid for that game was utterly stupid. The problem is, I knew I shouldn't be getting those items before I got them because of the lack of dps in our team but still went on to get them because my teammates insisted on it. If I were to listened to my heart and went for pure damage instead, the game would have been won.

3) Lack of commanding. This team has pretty stubborn players. Without proper commanding, they'll just insist on forcing their way into the opponents base. With opponents having a pugna and AP, force pushing should never be an option. It was common sense that we will lose once we stick and force and once again I knew it but didn't command the team to back up and wait for an opportunity.

4) Hero assignments. This was not my fault.. I already insisted on Zohn playing the bane but instead, Guolong who can't micro more than 1 unit took it. By not being able to micro, it means that he won't be getting a book 3. 1 book 3 will give us an enourmous advantage by being able to use it to kill pugna's nether ward before an engage. The true sight given by the blue guy would have also enable us to deward and counter potm's ulti. (Again, this brings me back to my item build. I could also have gotten a book 3 but decided not too because of comments from my teammates.)

All in all, the lost really comes down to my decisions. I made decisions based on comments and actions by my teammates knowing very well that those decisions will be detrimental to our chances of winning. If only I had more self-confidence on my decisions and played the game based on my instincts, we definitely would have won.

It's really depressing that I failed to realize this sooner. So this is the feeling of scoring an own goal + giving a penalty + getting red-carded all in 1 game... =(

3rd/4th placing against SoC this Saturday. Come watch if free! The finals between Biz and Sci would be an interesting one though. In my opinion Science would probably win it but if Biz manages to pull another surprise strategy (they did omni+od in group stages against Science), they may be able to win it.

Because I'm Stupid - SS501

내 머리는 너무나 나빠서
너 하나밖에 난 모르고
다른 사람을 보고있는 넌
이런 내마음도 모르겠지

너의 하루에 나란 없겠지
또 추억조차 없겠지만
너만 바라만 보고있는 난
자꾸 눈물이 흐르고있어

너의 뒷모습을 보는것도 난 행복이야
아직 나의 마음을 몰라도
끝내 스치듯이 가도


니가 너무 보고싶은 날엔
너무 견디기 힘든 날에는
너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Baby! I love you! I'm waiting for you!

너의 하루에 난 없겠지
또 기억조차 없겠지만
너만 바라만 보고있는 나
혼자 추억을 만들고 있어

내겐 사랑이란 아름다운 상처같아
너의 예쁜 미소를 보아도
함께 난 웃지도 못해

니가 너무 생각나는 날엔
가슴 시리고 슬픈 날에는
니가 보고싶다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Baby! I love you! I'm waiting for you!


Bye bye never say good bye
이렇게 잡지 못하지만
I need you 아무 말도 못해 I want you 바래도 다시 바래도

니가 너무 보고싶은 날엔
너무 견디기 힘든 날에는
너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 crying for you

니가 너무 생각나는 날엔
가슴 시리고 슬픈 날에는
니가 보고싶다 입가에 맴돌아
혼자 다시 또 crying for you
혼자 다시 또 missing for you
Baby! I love you! I'm waiting for you!

Lucky - Ashilyn (Boys Before Flowers OST)

Uni stuffs are finally pilling up. I got my Korean! That means an additional 6 hours of class per week. I initially wanted to look for something to do for part-time but looking at my weird time table now, it's kind of hard to find a job that's willing to give me my timeslots.

Attended my Korean tutorial today and I really enjoyed it. Classmates and tutor were great. Looking forward to next weeks tutorial!

Days have been filled with lots of Dota lately. I'm finally getting some draft matches because of Inter Faculty Games training. Yes, there's Dota for IFG and I'm playing for Team Engin =D .

I hate my teammates though.. Really stubborn people that refuses to think out of the box. Been having a hard time trying to get the "act-base-on-situation" thinking into their heads. To them, when something works well in 1 situation, they assume its gonna do well every single time. Dota is a game filled with so many unknown variables that every game is different but somehow they fail to see this simple fact. Lame..

oh well, I should fix this habit of sleeping in the wee hours of the morning after IFG is over. Gotta wake up earlier to take something from my friend some more.. sigh... Good Night

안녕!

It's a cruel world....

Went to Kbox to celebrate Yin Chau's birthday and the singing session couldn't have came at a better time. Of course It's a pleasure to celebrate Chau's birthday with the gang but lately I haven't been at my best moods. It's been awhile since I've had the chance to sing my lungs out and 5 hours of singing was really a relieve to my stressed out feelings. Many thanks to everyone for shoving the mike to me eventhough I probably hurt your ears.. =p

Back to emo stuff... my appeals for my modules still hasn't been confirmed yet.. I bunked into Forensics lecture last Friday night and really enjoyed the lecture. For the first time in my whole NUS history, I felt like attending every single lecture of a module. I'm just praying that my appeal goes through.. sigh..

And you,

Don't mean to be cruel,

You never even knew about the heartache,

I've been going through.

Well I try and try to forget you girl,

But it's just so hard to do,

Every time you do that thing you do

Jessica & Onew - 1년 後(One Year Later)

A lot has been on my mind lately but everytime I try to type it out, nothing appears. I find it hard to put my feelings and thoughts into words nowadays.

My appeals are not looking good.. I've already been rejected by 2 different parties and now it all comes down to Engineering Faculty's undergrad admins decisions. It's kinda frustrating not knowing what modules I will be studying next week when it's already the end of week 1. Hope everything gets settled soon.

UFO has ended and I must say the freshies this year are amazingly crazy. I didn't join them much but it was easy to see how "on" these year's freshmen were compared to those of 2 years back. Kudos to this year's organizing committee and the seniors involve.

Last week's annual National Day steamboat/bbq gathering was fantastic. Good food coupled with great company just made it a perfect night. It's been quite some time since a MSL event had such a happy atmosphere.

I've been learning Korean by myself for quite a bit via a website lately. Kind of got the hang of the simple vowels and consonants so I'm actually able to read out quite a number of words but I don't know what they mean unless it's in my limited Korean vocab that was build while watching shows/listening to music =p

I've been a bit moody lately.. Simple comments can make my temper explode.. I'm not sure what's the reason for the mood swings but I'm sorry for it. Will try to control my temper as much as possible....

Through experience, I've learned to not put too much hope into anything because the more hope you have the more it hurts when it shatters....

혼자

Aih.. I got outbidded for my Korean class and to make things worst I did not bid for anything else. So I'm stuck here now without any confirm modules yet. I'm really not happy with the bidding system now. =(

I sent an appeal for my modules. Let's just hope the fact that I'm a final sem student will get me my modules. In the mean time, I still have to hunt for emergency modules just in case my appeals fails.

I saw something on the way back from the mrt station to my house yesterday that made me feel 고독한. Sometimes I wonder what have I done wrong for the past few years to be exiled.

Really not in the mood to stay at home alone now... but I have no where to go.. no one to turn too... should have went back to Malaysia... I miss the weekly movie/futsal/tar kei sessions.. I miss the food.. I miss my friends... I miss my family.. Fucking hate this place

보고싶다고 불러봐도 넌 아무 대답없잖아 헛된 기대 걸어봐도 이젠 소용없잖아

Ahh, i guess once you stop blogging it'll be very hard to start doing it consistently again.

It's bidding period now.. frankly speaking, I think the bidding system in NUS is pure bullshit. I don't see the logic in allocating less general account points to engineering students compared to other faculties. It's already my 5th year and final sem in NUS but I still have trouble bidding for modules I want. Lame shit.

If people are asking for a reason to NOT come to NUS? The bidding system is already a good enough reason.